The Missionary Missions: a Mission Impossible
By: Hipster girl
“If we shadows have offended, / Think but this, and all is mended, / That you have but slumber'd here / While these visions did appear. / And this weak and idle theme, / No more yielding but a dream, / Gentles, do not reprehend: / If you pardon we will mend. / Else the Puck a liar call. / Give me your hands, if we be friends, / And Robin shall restore amends.” - Puck, A Mid Summer Nights Dream
Russian Christian theology expert, Hugepen Isyess was the first to interpreted the message of Jesus of spreading the message of the missionary (Matthew 28:16-20). “Jesus wants all Christians to make love not war.” Sais Isyess in an interview about his new book “What has Love Got to do With it”.Isyess explains how hate has taken over the world and how will love concour all, literally. In the Bible Jesus tells the missionaries to go forth and spread the message, the message of love. This essay will high light the main issues Hugepen Isyess talks about in his book, the way the bible teaches us to love and finally what the missionary position is like today.
All over the world there is hate and war at one point or another. Where did all of this come from. The word of Jesus tells us to spread love. Hugepen Isyess’s book mentions in the first few chapters that the missionaries were sent all over the world to spread the missionary word. This caused most trouble in Africa, due to the outbreak of aids. In remote African tribes they would eat the monkey’s that had a blood deases, when the missionary came to teach the new people of the true word, they ened up contracting the deases. As troublesome as this was the message continued to spread far and wide until it was reached all around the world. The message was most difficult to spread in india. The Indian culture itself had its own way of doing things and already had so many positions to take in the matter of love. The people of india had learned the ways of love from nature mostly, using the natural positions of the elephant, the cow, or even the deer pose. Those thes positions are still used throught india, and have even transfured over to the rest of the world the missionary position is still practices among Christians today. Dr. Jenny Tallia Talks about how the missionary position is good for those people who are just experiencing the message ‘For those with more experience with the true message of love, they may want to try a different position’. Dr. Tallia does also explain how you can reamin a good Christian by still spreading the word of the missionary, but trust it up a little. ‘The missionary reversed works quite the same way but can be much easier for the men of faith to handle.’(page 45, what has love got to do with it.)
Leading into the bible’s message of the missionary the only way we can say the missionary is the only true way in the eye’s of God is looking into Adam and Eve. God sais ‘go forth and multiplay’ (Genesis) and we all no the word or Genesis is the good word. After all Genesis also says ‘Give me guidance! O Lord I need that now.’ (Counting Out Time, Genesis). However, when Adam and Eve did ‘Eat’ from the ‘forbidden tree’ God kicked them out of the Garden of Eden. So Adam and Eve started begatting like crazy and eventually they populated the world. So the bible tells us from the very beginning to spread the word of love to one and all, after all we come from love and love is good, and good is never bad. With spreading the message of the missionary word, came the message of the bad things too. When they said what to do they also said what ‘not to do’. The bible has made itself obvious that the bestiality and homoeroticisms is wrong. We know that the missionary word was spread far and wire and it is the right thing to do. The wrong things to do is share your love with animals and members of the same gender. The bible makes this clear when it says "If there is a man who lies with a male as those who lie with a woman, both of them have committed a detestable act; they shall surely be put to death. Their bloodguiltness is upon them"(Lev. 20:13). So as much fun as it is, and it IS, the missonary position is the best way.
Now a day the missionary position is used all around the world. Though for a brief time in the 1910 more and more woman were quite agenst the missionary or ‘Man-on-top’ way. Woman’s rights were slowly becoming more and more of an issue to the general public and woman fought for their right to be on top. This could have something to do with immigration coming into play, the ways of the different cultures of non missionary ways might have caught the attention of most Christian woman. More and more Christians now use all kinds of different posions to spread the word of God. Though if you ask an expert, they will probably tell you to switch it up every once in a while.
All in all, the word of God was spread just as Jesus wanted it. The missionary position is the most common at this time and if you ask anyone it is the easiest to take. Once you learn about the missionary, you may want to learn others positions just for fun. Jesus teaches us to love, and love is everywhere in the world. Love is good and God is good, this doesn’t necessarily mean that God is love, but it dosn’t mean that he’s not. Love is defiantly an important aspect of life. But as the quote from the beginning says, this is just a joke. Don’t take anything seriously, you live longer.
